Dirt Farm Chronicles

you called me
elskan minn

but I was not yours to claim
and you didn’t want me anyway

Of course you wanted me
But I am too terrible to have
too terrible to keep around
to keep
to love
what great recklessness would that be!

Me, with my great strength
and intelligence
and eyes that see you
and of course
let’s not forget I’m too young
and have far too many children
and am chronically underintoxicated

That would be akin to forgetting
that you asked me
for my time
and my heart
and my body
and refused to tell the truth
about where you were
so I could honestly evaluate my own options
my own desires
my own truth

Because the truth is,
þorskurinn minn,
you’re not what I was looking for either

So much older than me
with a past that I cannot overcome
and cold
so very, very cold
Except when you’re not

Well I’ve done that before
in various forms.

I know you already
and I know I’d love you
if you’d let me

But you won’t
So, I’ll dust my hands
and focus on the lovelies that do want me
that will let me love them
that have the potential to love  me back unabashedly

Because that,
konungur minn,
is what I am looking for

Unabashed love
desire
reciproricity
excitement
gleaming eyes
and crinkly smiles

Making love like you do
exquisite as it is
is not enough
for me
in spite of what I tell you
in any language